Imperceptible Me

after months of drooling over that book, i finally have it right under my roof!
sorry, i’m not making much sense, am i? here, let me explain: i first saw david colbert’s “The Magical World Of Harry Potter” in school, at the stone tables during lunch time. someone (i can’t remember who…) was returning that book to its owner. i borrowed the book for a moment while the person looked for the person she borrowed it from.

hm, i’m getting a little sentimental here. better run.

the title of this post came from avril’s "How Does It Feel" in her second album. i was at my cousins’ house in las piñas yesterday and i was fiddling with their stereo. then i remembered that gel has this cd of avril lavigne’s second album, which contains this song that gel and i can absolutely relate to. the song was titled, "Fall To Pieces". i really liked the lyrics, especially the ones in the chorus. they go like this: "i don’t wanna fall to pieces/ i just wanna sit and stare at you/and i don’t wanna talk about it/ and i don’t want a conversation/ i just wanna cry in front of you/ i don’t wanna talk about it/ ’cause i’m in love with you"

that was so beautiful, wasn’t it? anyway, i looked for more songs and i stumbled upon "How Does It Feel". i read the lyrics (which came with the cd) as i listened to the song, and it struck me: this song is kind of like about me. i mean, i’m completely different from everyone else, and people see me as kind of a weird person. i used to be proud being extraordinary, i used to not care what people say to me about how i should change. but when i realized that living by my own rules sometimes turns out to be rude, i stopped to think that being different isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. it sucks to see other people get on with their lives without them having a sort-of personality disorder like i do. other people don’t have a problem with the way the act or think, and i envy them.

avril’s "How Does It Feel" is about being a different person and that person asks a "normal" person about how it feels to be normal, to not watch everything you say, to be able to act as you please without other people giving you the evil eye. i’m kind of wondering about it myself.

how do those normal people feel to be different from me?

how does it feel?

i took the UPCAT and i passed it. what more could i want? hm, what could i want?? what i want is to be able to STAY there. and also, what i want is to have someone to eat lunch with. or walk around the campus with. or share gossips about teachers and classmates with. i want–no–i NEED a friend. i need a friend THERE in UP Diliman. i don’t want to wander around the campus by myself, i’d look stupid. not to mention a loner. oh sure, i’m sooo great (i’m being sarcastic…) that i passed the test and got into that university….but how am i to survive it?? it’s like what my mom said, it’s hard to get in there, it’s also hard to REMAIN in there. great.

good luck to me.

okay, i am currently addicted to watching daniel radcliffe video clips…seriously!

gawd, am i THAT obsessed?
how pathetic…

funny thing happened to me two days ago…

i always thought of friendster as a connection to every long lost friend i have. like my ex-best friends in OBMC, kylie and angelique. also…my grade 1 busmate and classmate, athalyn.

then, two days ago, when i was with tesa, ciara, and my cousins, gel and cheska, i wondered how the heck did athalyn find me in friendster. it’s a miracle that she still remembers me after all these years. she went to a different school when we were about to start third grade so it totally is a miracle that she still remembers who i am!

as i was wondering out loud (”pa’no talaga ako natatandaan nito?”), gel, my cousin who has the same age as i do, leaned to see what i’m looking at in my computer (athalyn’s friendster account). then she said, “ay, si athalyn!”

i was surprised.

i mean, how could she know her? i don’t even tell gel who were my former busmates then in grade school, so how could she know?

turns out athalyn is gel’s batchmate at their school, san beda college of alabang (formerly st. benedict college).

small world…

anyway, i suddenly regained my interest in the star wars story. ciara and i tried to watch star wars episodes 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 in a row, but we ended up watching just 2, 1, and 5, since ciara said that episode 4 was boring and left the room when my mom and i insisted that we would understand luke skywalker’s story better if we watched the very first star wars film.

mama and i ended up watching 4, and 5.

my eyes hurt that day, having watched the almost all the star war movies in a row.
we didn’t get to watch “the return of the jedi” because our cousins came to visit, so we had to entertain them…

haay…

hehe, i just remembered that gel asked me to make a fanfic about her and draco malfoy.
originally, it was supposed to be my story. something about a girl named kaela davies and that she became harry potter’s best friend. but what harry doesn’t know is that kaela’s in love with him. so every time kaela sees him with cho (he got back together with her), she’s heartbroken–

wait, what am i doing??

i’m narrating the whole story already!

gotta go before i spill the lot with my big mouth.
*scurries away*

yipee! i hab blog olredi! weee!! now my problem is how to manage it. Ü our computer back at home is kind of a lunatic…the window closes whenever i open the friendster page…gotta go think…and shop (am currently at farmer’s plaza here in cubao)

oh, and, at last, i got to see my best friend tesa. she’s gonna go to baguio along with my other best friend, gaye.

unfair people…why do they get to go to the same school? hmph. anyway, they promised that they’re going to "hike down" from baguio and into diliman with me.
of course, they would have different courses. gaye’s on to become a lawyer and tesa’s on to become an accountant. but i guess it wouldn’t be the same without them around…*sigh*

i’d surely miss them…i mean, they’re the bestest friends i have. they’re the closest friends i have. probably even closer than my sister…

okay, i’m getting sentimental here. i better go. my stomach is growling. (so what’s new? my stomach is ALWAYS grumbling. it grumbles almost every two hours!)